The little voice inside my head

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I wonder how much more boring life would be if my irrational mind wasn’t always accompanying me.

Overthinking every detail instead of just doing.

Social media has a way of pointing me in that direction.

“What does her caption mean?”

“Why did he go to New York and not invite me?”

“She hasn’t responded to me in 3 hours! She must be mad”

“She responded too quickly. She must like me”

“My professor responded with a short sentence. Did he not like my message?”

But I don’t think social media is bad for me.

When I first started doing Muay Thai and Boxing in Singapore, I went often, maybe 4 times a week.

It hurt a lot. My body was adapting to new movements.

And I was afraid of making mistakes. My irrational brain made me think of how embarrassing it was for me to not know how to do Muay Thai kicks or properly punch. How irrational is it? That your brain makes you feel bad for not being good at something you’ve never done…

So was Muay Thai and boxing bad for me?

It was an intrinsic issue. It was my irrational thoughts. But I fought through them. Literally.

And so is social media bad for me? Or is it an intrinsic issue?

I love overthinking. My friends often get frustrated by it, I’m sure. But the little voice inside my head keeps me sane. It’s weird.

I have all these things that I wish I could do and for some reason I’ve just stopped doing them. Maybe it’s time to listen to that voice and take the steps forward. Get out of my comfort zone even if it scares me. They always say that growth happens when you are most uncomfortable.

What’s the worst that could happen in most cases? Really. I think I can endure them. So maybe it’s time for me to ask that question about my life I’ve been meaning to ask. Who am I?

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