No activity

One of the biggest self-battles I’ve been having with myself since the start of the new year is the concept of leisure.

How do I have good leisure?

Today I did nothing productive. I slept a lot. I ate some good food. I “relaxed” and played video games.

But my soul was never at peace. And that is what I’ve been learned to accept as leisure: an at-peace of the soul.

Regardless of what the activity I am doing, if I am not at-peace internally, then it cannot and will not be considered “leisure”

Leisure can happen while skydiving or while traveling the world, or it can happen in your dorm room.

But for me, I did not have leisure today.

Instead, I was fighting myself. I was resisting.

I don’t know how I’ll fix this aspect of my life.

I imagine if I don’t figure out a solution soon, then I’ll eventually burn out.

Despite what Elon Musk or Gary Vee might tell you, man was not meant to only work. We must find a way to recharge–even if it’s through other forms of work.

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Being forgetful

Isn’t being forgetful one of the worst feelings in the world?

Forgetting that word…It’s on the tip of my tongue, we say

Forgetting to do homework, that you told yourself you’d remember to do…

Forgetting that one small fact for that important test…

Forgetting how it feels to hug your dog

Forgetting a phone number

Forgetting the feeling of love from a friend, or partner that you used to feel daily

We fear forgetting things because it means that time has passed. Change is the only thing that is certain, and that certainty is beautifully frightening.

Time scares us. Time is changing. Time moves forward, while we live in the past, forgetting how much better life used to be.

But if we look forward, instead, we can realize how much more potential we can have in this life, not in forgetting things, but in remembering to take care of ourselves, remembering to love one another, remembering to be the best version you can be.

Because just as we can forget the important things in life, we can also forget the pain.

And move on. And move forward. And live.